Her.

I haven't decided which cuts deeper, her silence or passive aggression. When she does this, I am no longer an adult but a scared child wishing it would stop. She knows what it does to me, and at times, I think she enjoys it. I shouldn't let her get to me, but it's not that... Continue Reading →

Cluttered.

That one drawer in the kitchen becomes home to objects that have no other place. Those old boxes in the garage pile up until you can't even remember what's in them anymore. The closet is full of unworn clothes, but they stay hung as you may need them someday. That agonizing memory holds your body... Continue Reading →

A Cottage in Appalachia

Not my cottage garden entrance but so you get the vibe... I've been busily unpacking and settling into the first home I've properly had since I left for the hospital four and a half years ago. I had a deep feeling when I left that day that I wasn't just saying see ya later to... Continue Reading →

If only

if only the planets would traverse through space to shine brightly on me so I may harvest the long awaited romance and peace I deserve

How pale the moonlight

How pale the silvery cold moonlight Shines in winter of my heartSerene goddess of brokenness Mourns wearily in an ocean Without love Adrift and aloneBeautifully small Deep blue tides swellingBut silent hope sings Always

Heartbroken for a Monster

I’ve been sitting with a lot of feelings lately and one of the feelings is one that we have all felt at one point that, from the moment I realized I was in a relationship with an abuser, I never thought I’d feel… Heartbreak. Legitimate, sad, missing the times when, wishing things had been different,... Continue Reading →

Alone.

No one listens to what I am saying and the hurt behind my words. No one sees the pain behind my smile and the burdens I still carry. No one feels the regret that grows when I am vulnerable and left wishing I stopped trying. I feel alone.

What Comes Next

Last week I did a thing… A terrifying, horrible, awful, powerful, empowering, glorious, beautiful thing. I told the truth about someone who abused me for the legal record. Not all of it, just a few of too many things because the prosecution felt that the whole picture was too much. And I do understand. There... Continue Reading →

even under ice

even under ice shoots of green grass grow stronglyseeking slivers of sunshineundeterred by winter‘s coldbe thou like the grass ⁂ ⁂ ⁂ Tanka, the muse Inspired by the birds singing outside and the green under sheets of ice.

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