“Auld Lang Syne” ~ My Life’s Soundtrack

At some point, according to Robert Burns, a poem of unknown origin was written using the phrase “auld lang syne” which translates somewhere between “for old times’ sake” and “old or long friendship,” as far as I can tell and has been sung the world over as a marker to the transition of old year to new year as people remember and think about their friendships and the things that have happened over the course of the passing year. I saw someone else’s (incredibly naive optimistic) post about this song earlier and they wrote about what a beautiful and positive message it has in asking the question if things should be forgotten because to them, this song is a beautiful reminder to never forget.

But to me, this song is haunting and sad. It always has been. I don’t care if it is at the end of a movie with a bell and an angel getting his wings, and I understand that people will always want to try to remember the loved ones lost and the friendships with those who are near and dear to them, but for my part, I think the answer to that question is more complicated:

Should old acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind?

At times, absolutely.

We should not feel obligated to always remember the bad things in our lives or the people we have fallen out with or fallen out of love with, those who have hurt or attacked us, those who have disappointed us or crossed our boundaries one to many times. We should be able to forget them, even if not completely, and let that past stay in the past. There is no relationship or situation where one should feel obligated to maintain and honor a relationship or memory that is not healthy or positive for them.

I grew up being taught that family was family no matter what, that marriage was supposed to be forever, that love is something you work toward, and that if you love someone you will give your everything to be there for them. That is exactly what I did for everyone I loved for nearly 4 decades and it almost killed my body while it slowly killed my spirit because love isn’t sacrificing yourself for others no matter what…

I am not the messiah. That job has been taken and it cost him his life.

Love knows when to close a door just as much as it knows when to leave one open. Love does work toward a relationship but it does so in a setting where The Other is equally as devoted to working toward that relationship and where The Other is of equal strength and caliber. Love does not kill itself for everyone else because love teaches others where healthy boundaries lie and that at times One needs to be taken care of as much as they take care of The Other.

Love knows when a chapter in their life is over and when it is time for the plot to move One forward with or without other characters. Love knows when it is not just a chapter that is over but actually a whole book that is finished and when to leave some characters in the closed books for good.

And love knows not just that it is okay for old acquaintances and memories to be forgotten but it is sometimes necessary.

I don’t know if your 2021 was as challenging as mine or what difficulties you’ve faced in this past year, but my hope for you is that your next year will bring you peace and wisdom to know when to close chapters, when to close books, which characters to take with you, and which characters to write out of your future so that you may live a fulfilled and healthy life.

“Auld Lang Syne”

Songwriters: Robert Burns is credited with writing it but he maintained that it was, in fact, an ancient Scottish poem and he simply was the first to write it down circa 1788

The Pentatonix, Auld Lang Syne, 2020

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne.

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne.
We’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.

And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere!
And gie’s a hand o’ thine!
And we’ll tak a right guid willy waught,
For auld lang syne.

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne.
We’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne.