So often, I think that we have the propensity to want a thing right now, this minute, without having to work for that thing, that we forget how powerful it is to take the time to cultivate and watch that thing grow over time.
Are roses beautiful? Absolutely. But roses ordered online or picked up from the grocer will wilt and die, while if one takes the time to plant and fertilize, to prune and care for the thorny bush, blooms will continue to come and brighten the world daily.
Is it lovely to have a warm fire to curl up next to on a cold night? Without a doubt. But there’s something just a little bit more when one has been the one to take the time to cut the wood and build the fire themselves.
There’s a certain sense of accomplishment that comes from work that results in reward that is impossible to gain from that which is gained without work. This is particularly true in all sorts of relationships.
Is it wonderful and powerful to have relationships with other humans? Doubtless. But there is a difference between the kind of friendship or relationship where there isn’t a purposeful and mindful cultivation of that relationship from both parties and one where there is.
Regardless of every other variable that may impact the relationship, and I do mean every other variable, except in a relationship where you are the parent or caregiver of children or adults who are other-abled or medically in need, never choose to exist in a relationship with someone who is not willing to cultivate your relationship and never choose to be in a relationship with someone who you are not going to cultivate.
It isn’t fair.
It isn’t healthy.
It isn’t sustainable.
Choose to cultivate fulfilling and deep relationships with those in your life who also choose to cultivate relationships with you… Or find new people.
Sometimes you read something that feels like this was written just for you. As a father of a 12 year old girl struggling with relationships at school, discovering who her true friends are this says everything that I have tried very clumsily to say to her. Thank you….this will help her immensely
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Thank you! It’s so good to know when something I write is powerful!