Hard Truths

A few weeks ago, I wrote a short story called Denial that was pushed out to platforms beyond this one. On one of the other platforms, someone commented that one has to dig deep to confront someone else with that word…

Denial.

Now, I haven’t actually logged into that platform more than once or twice in the last couple months because I don’t have to log in for things to publish there, nevertheless I get email notifications of things happening *over there* and this comment got under my skin a wee bit with words like “dig deep” and “confront,” so I gnawed on it a little until a little became a lot and I pondered:

Why do people think that speaking the truth is a confrontation or attack?

Why do we have to dig deep to speak truth?

What is happening in our society and our relationships that we are so easily (and happily) accepting of lies rather than the truth?

Why are those who speak truth less beloved than those who speak lies?

The questions plagued me a fair amount and my frustration level increased quite a bit thinking on these questions because the truth is that I am bewildered by the nature that makes us avoid honesty because the truth is…

A hard truth spoken in genuine affection and love may hurt, but it will not leave the lasting damage of a beautiful lie.

Our society has valued perfection and kindness to such a degree that we no longer see the value and kindness of speaking truthfully and instead praise the normalcy of “being kind” rather than being honest, being sincere, being genuine, being true to ourselves, and being forward enough to say what we think and feel.

People told me beautiful things for years that validated and strengthened my resolve to stick with a human being who was toxic and abusive.

People tell one another beautiful things about the choices others are making when they know the choice is a poor one.

People encourage one another and have a heaping supply of “exactly what you want to hear” when asked but then are also quick to say they knew all along how it would turn out.

There’s actually science behind the willingness to believe a lie. Think of those in Nazi Germany who saw the trains with cattle cars full of men women and children, who willingly swallowed the blue pill of the propaganda, but who appeared devastated when the reality of the brutality and inhumanity happening beneath their noses became clear. People will choose to accept what they know is a lie because they aren’t ready to face the truth that…

Their spouse is cheating on them.

That trusted person violated someone else important’s body.

They really do have a problem with alcohol.

Whether they actively avoid the discussions, articles, and confrontations or they don’t avoid them but dismiss the truth nuggets so they don’t have to doubt their beautiful lies, people choose the lies all too often.

I would much rather we find it difficult to dig deep enough to lie than feel it is digging deep simply to be willing to hit someone with a measure of truth they ought to hear, especially if what we are saying is spoken in love.

Unless of course I’m asking if the dress makes my bum look big because the answer is probably yes…

12 thoughts on “Hard Truths

  1. Loved ones are or should be friends and friends should be honest with each other. They seem to trip one another when they aren’t. Everyone needs at least one true friend. May each one of your bloggers and people attached have at least one true friend.
    Sometimes the only way to learn is to walk down the path and trip. Unfortunately. Best day to all. 🌹🌹

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Terri!

      My hope is that maybe we can all find a way to speak truth in love and find hope and healing rather than feeling attacked.

      Bright blessings to you as well!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Yes! Yes! Yes! When did telling the truth become controversial? I believe around the same time everyone who showed up got a trophy! When did denial become a word that instills the idea that one needs to take a controversial stance? I think around the time we bought into and became part of social media. (How dare anyone disagree with me!) The funny part is, the person who wrote “confront” and “dig deep” probably use those key words a lot, from comments on posts to “confronting” the grocery store clerk when the supermarket ran out of eggs that were RIGHTFULLY theirs. (Dig deep and confront!) We can easily speak in generalities but telling the truth? Well, it’s just not acceptable and you are vicious if you do it in todays society. (Take the blue pill.) I love the statement you have penned! Truth, spoken affectionately doesn’t damage a person or ruin their life! Does speaking the truth have to be hard? Easy lies, hard truths? Maybe it does. Certainly in today’s world it is. Excellent analysis, Kit! Great post! 💜

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Kintsugi is the Japanese art of putting broken pottery pieces back together with gold — built on the idea that in embracing flaws and imperfections, you can create an even stronger, more beautiful piece of art. Every break is unique and instead of repairing an item like new, the 400-year-old technique actually highlights the “scars” as a part of the design. Using this as a metaphor for healing ourselves teaches us an important lesson: Sometimes in the process of repairing things that have broken, we actually create something more unique, beautiful and resilient.

    Liked by 1 person

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