The Best Thing About the Worst Time

I realized the other day that I’ve been writing on the same two themes in this blog for the last year that are at the heart of the story I’m telling in my book:

(1) the strength and perfection expectations of men and women, particularly in a relationship, where we are told we must always be strong and must always make sure everything looks perfect even when we aren’t and it isn’t

(2) the unrealistic expectations and dysfunctional roles placed on those experiencing trauma or illness

While I can clearly see the true colors of those who are or who should have been my closest confidants and supporters in this difficult time, I’m torn between unedited honesty and keeping my big mouth shut here among other friends and acquaintances who have come to care deeply for me in this journey I’m on.

So I pose this question:

If I do not share the truth of this struggle, how will I get to see your true colors?

22 thoughts on “The Best Thing About the Worst Time”

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      2. When the truth is finally revealed, I know there will be those who are mad that I spoke it but I’m not worried about them. There will be far more who will revile the realizations of allegiance and their complaisance. That will be a tough pill for them to swallow but if there’s any hope for them, they need it.

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  3. People can be chameleons and their colors can change with the situation. Sometimes it’s with no malevolence, they just don’t know how to respond and thus withdraw. Other times it’s for selfish reasons. I went through a traumatic period in my life 22 years ago and that’s what I came away with. I feel ya.

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    1. Chameleon is an appropriate descriptor, so apropos! It’s unfortunate that those who change the most are those whom one would hope would be the most steadfast.

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  4. Everyone is fighting their own demons, battling to maintain an outward appearance in some manner of legit appropriateness. You can ‘tell’ your story… not anyone else’s. Life is hard, illness or not. For every action, there is a reaction and when the spoken word hits the page, you alone are responsible for that message and it’s consequences both good and possibly bad. When you are sure there is a ‘purity of message’ go for it, Kit!

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    1. Kim ~ I swear you always see the deepest layer of whatever I write and the issue behind it! I am responsible for the message and its consequences, so true, and finding the purity in it is truly a challenge. But you know how I feel about challenges…

      😘 ~ Kit

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      1. Ah, yes. I know you love those challenges. I think you are ahead of the pack, dear Kit. I know there is an underlying issue because you are a thinker! You win, you don’t gamble. You test the waters first, all the time every time. xo

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  5. You could write in this manner for years, because it is from the heart and soul. You are speaking of what you live. I believe that a lot of us love to read it because it is deep and so close to our paths. It’s good to have someone who can put words into such prose.
    There are always going to be those who can’t or won’t or don’t want to be of help. There are others who will always be there for the asking and others yet, who are on your door step.
    I rarely lean or try to lean on many, because most don’t really want to or don’t want to give the time. I have found two. My mom and a friend of long ago that went through what I’m going through 2 years ago. I realize that many others would help, but they are too busy with life. So on that trail I keep traveling. And I will continue as long as I need too and then some more. And when I have the time to relax, I get to read your thoughts. How I enjoy them. If you have two people on your side, count yourself lucky. Always, Aunt Joan 🌹

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  6. One of the things i love about you, and there are many, is that you hold nothing back. You say what you need to say. You hold nothing back. If people can’t handle that, then they are not friends after all. Be yourself Gwen. Just be you.

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