Struggles of the Stumplife

19 thoughts on “Struggles of the Stumplife”

  1. Thank you for your brutally honest tale. Sometimes there is no humor to be found. It has to be made. Falsified and fabricated. And that is not telling the “real story”. This story IS the real story. It is raw and ugly and needed to be told. Unfortunately the world is so full of asshats and, I fear, this won’t be the last of one of these stories you will need to write. Never be afraid to tell ANY of your stories.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Brutally honest it is.
    Now that you mention kids, I read somewhere that animals behave in a similar way (dogs for sure). When their friend or acquaintance becomes disabled, they do not notice that there’s anything wrong with them, continuing to hang out with them from here to eternity. Interestingly, they are also said to be quite unaware of their disabilities, something that humans can’t.
    In all the pain and injustice you feel, try not to turn too bitter.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I did have some bitterness in that one didn’t I?! Ugh. Points for honesty, I guess. Most of the time I can let things just roll off my back but there are those occasions where I am just mad as hell and then bitterness creeps in.

      The response from children and adults is completely different! My friends’ children want to understand why this happened but if anything they want more closeness to me than before, not less. They play amputee and ask really poignant questions. They are amazing about it. Even children I don’t know aren’t phased by what they see (I’m still the Pied Piper to them) while adults I’m not close to but know are different. They give me the “oh poor you” face and tone of voice. They want to do things FOR me that I can do for myself and they act as though I’ve changed fundamentally because I have 5 toes instead of 10.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. It’s because their souls are pure and innocent. I’m not sure they understand. The bottom line is, they don’t judge, they don’t look down on. Everybody is equal, everybody can be a friend, everybody can be given a chance, everybody deserves a smile. They are frank and direct.
        By contrast, adults think they show understanding but theirs consists of ‘poor you’ faces or grim or disgust or ‘don’t come near’ attitude. It might be courageous. There’s no spontaneity, no understanding.
        I think this whole thing has made you super sensitive, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. You’re like a blind woman. Everybody sees a white cane and tries to help although she can manage perfectly without it. She sees further, and smells and feels more intensely. She enjoys love making more because ‘weniger ist mehr’ (less is more). Have you seen the movie: Night on Earth? If not, try finding it, please.
        BTW, you can bitch all day long here. Nb will judge you. Just try not to make it a permanent thing, because it can be blinding, like hatred, depriving you and people around you of more than you have bargained for.

        Liked by 2 people

  3. Instant karma: just before I saw your post in my reader, I read another blogger’s tongue-in-cheek post about how we’re not allowed to compliment people on their appearance in the workplace anymore. Feeling an oh-so-witty rejoinder taking shape, I commented that I always compliment my co-workers on their bilateral symmetry and would therefore be in trouble if my boss hired someone missing a limb. Stupid, as most of my jokes are, but not meant to poke fun at anyone other than the uptight compliment-police to whom the blogger was referring. In reality, such a co-worker wouldn’t even elicit a second glance. That is why when I read this incredibly honest and personal post of yours, I found myself scratching my head at the people who react to you in such an overdramatic way. I’m looking right at you in those photos and I just don’t see how anyone sees anything beyond your incredibly warm smile (ok, and maybe your awesome scarf). You never fail to inspire, and that alone imbues a person with far more beauty than most.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Thank you! What you say about my smile reminds me of the kind words one of my friends always shares with me when I feel like I’ve somehow attracted the bad; thank you!

      It was amazing to me to have those overdramatic responses the other night. I think my frustration is as much fueled by their behavior as it is fueled by the pain I still have by being kind enough not to use their mean mugs as bowling pins. (That whole attitude and experience doesn’t feel very inspiring.)

      Incidentally, I think bilateral summery is hilarious and if a friend said it to me I would have a smart remark for them before laughing my ass off.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Ha! Indeed — if I did, in fact, compliment people on their bilateral symmetry, wouldn’t that just be a roundabout way of saying, “No matter how hard I try, I can’t really think of anything good to say about you”? It sounds more polite than that on the surface, and that would probably buy me just enough time to get out of their presence before they realized they were just insulted to their face.

        Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you. I am not one to stare myself so I don’t think I ever thought of it from the one side; even thinking about the fact that people will take a glance at what is different doesn’t bother me. But the blatant staring is a much different and I didn’t realize how uncomfortable it made me until they were staring at me.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Dear Kit, I’m afraid in the future it will be you that has to put other adults at ease… I am NOT saying this is fair! It isn’t at all. I was born with a birth trauma, my right arm is noticabealy different from my left. I try to hide it as best I can, but I can’t all the time. Child or adult who stares or even asks I say, “Car accident, wear your seat belt!” I don’t know why? I just do … I think because it is MY business, that’s why. And unless this person is in my life, or I feel they CAN handle the truth, you know, the ones who don’t have pity in their eyes … will I explain it to them, because knowing anything personal about me is a privledge! Some are not invited. There’s nothing wrong with yelling “look out, lady with a baby coming through! …OH I meant wheelchair!” Sorry you had that experience on a night out that should’ve been fun for all of you. Damn Lookie Lews!~Kim

    Liked by 2 people

    1. A pinch of what all those others said. I am definitely in favor of yelling “lady with baby coming through” and the car accident. Don’t forget your seatbelt. You get to give good advice and keep them at bay. Car accident will make people drop the subject quickly. They will be sorry for you and sorry to have invaded your space. Try it. It might be worth it to see the looks on their faces. Enjoy them making fools of themselves. 🌹

      Liked by 3 people

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