Not Even Second

When you said, “I do,”
I had an expectation
That my place with you was steadfast
But I missed an annotation

My place falls far behind
So many other things
Army, lies, you job, the guys
The other women caught in your strings

You’re a hero, a sexy grunt,
You sacrificed so much
I’m just the wallflower in the corner
Standing here, your crutch

The person getting up
To help you through each day
Quietly, unacknowledged,
While all praises go your way

You’re injuries are noble
So vast, so broad, so bleak
The kinds of things that could have
Stopped you if you had been weak

But, lo, you overcame them
While I was by your side
Sleeping on a chair, the floor,
Swallowing my pride

And every step along the way
My sacrifice unnoticed
Toiling tirelessly for you, for us,
Wife far from peace remotest

Your anniversaries, Your injuries
Your accomplishments, Your stuff
Every day are over shadowing
All the things that make me tough

Your rages, the eggshells,
The abuse and the drinking,
Leave me just at a loss
As to what it is you’re thinking

As if all the rest of this shit
Isn’t enough to endure
There are the other women you choose
Over me, despite all my allure

With every fight and every row
You swear your love and faith
Yet every action that you take
Haunts me like a wraith

When will I be enough?
Will I ever be your priority?
Will my words and deeds be recognized?
Or in this partnership will I stay the minority?

This is about my life. 

17 thoughts on “Not Even Second

Add yours

  1. Wow…why have you waited so long to share the power of your verse? You are, simply, an amazing writer. I much as I want, I dare not ask more. I just thank you for sharing what you have and what you will.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. As always, thank you!!

      For a long time I kept the verse inside because I feel more vulnerable in the writing, just like I kept the tragic bits in a box in the closet in the basement of my mind. But reading your verse has sparked something, and having a spade called a spade did as well.

      I guess it’s time to do both prose and poetry again.

      (I was a poet first. Only recently did the prose in storytelling magic itself into existence.)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I can’t tell you how many of those I had… MOST didn’t make it, but I’m satisfied with the ones that did. I’m very impressed with your work! Also, it was very special to include the other women. Brilliant all the way through!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. It’s sort of a systemic issue I see repeated over and over ad nauseam and there are some amazing women who were able to fix it in their home and some that were able to find peace outside of the culture. They’re all inspirational to me… They’re my sisters!

        Thank you, thank you! 🙏🏻

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ll not say much, as you know I generally (publicly) only have a snarky mode.
    But ‘wow’ seems fairly eloquent.
    The power of your honesty and passion shows, whichever format you choose to write it in.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m not holding off, just struggling to reach into myself and bypass that shell of snark to access the words and appropriate emotional response I need, stirred by the beauty of your writing.

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Create a website or blog at

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: